


Confidential swing conversations: Widow and Captain America

by Waltzingindreams



Series: Conversations with Natasha Romanov on Laura Barton's swings [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce mentioned, F/M, everybody is sad after Wanda messed with their heads!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 00:32:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4766804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waltzingindreams/pseuds/Waltzingindreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The second part of the series! While writing part one, which was intended to be a one-shot, I got too many SteveNat feels so from there it all started to develop into the series. Just some honest conversation between my favorite two avengers, as a fix-it to Age of Ultron. It takes place during their hide-out at "Laura Barton's". Part one is not essential but given the length you can just read it to get an insight of the main significant change between the movie and this series.</p><p>Or: Steve is sick of questioning everything and decides to get some answers from Natasha. (By all means, help me with a better summary)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confidential swing conversations: Widow and Captain America

**Author's Note:**

> I HAD TOO MANY STEVENAT FEELS AND THEN THIS HAPPENED. Also, though I love BruceNat as a couple in fics, I hated the way the movie put them together. Do let me know what you think and if I should continue! Also, apologies for any mistakes. By now, it's pretty much 4AM and I have done no academic reading and written FF instead. Life decisions.

‘So you spill every SHIELD document, and now we are to believe that Barton is married with kids?’

Natasha froze as Steve caught her off guard, something that had not happened in a long time. She had been doing the dishes, basking in the small moment of socially perceived normalcy. She rarely used the dishes in her own ‘houses’, always too cautious to leave behind trails. She washed the plates while softly singing to Nina Simone, allowing her mind to ease off after the horrific memories of the Red Room. In a desperate attempt to get her mind off her past, she rethought their current setting. Clint, of all people, has suddenly gotten a sweet wife and some kids living in a magazine-like house, and she had played along with whatever Fury had thrown at them. Of all the members, she knew Steve would be the hardest to convince, as he already constantly struggled with and mistrusted reality. Still, she didn’t turn around from her dishes until she collected herself, playful smirk already adorning her lips.

‘Not everything is in the papers, Cap. Many of us keep secrets. Like you, for instance, when someone asks you about the witch’s vision.’

Steve froze, as she expected him to. What she had not expected was for him to be persistent.

‘Don’t change the subject, Natasha. Who is this woman? Is this yet another trick by you? Or SHIELD, or Fury, or whoever is in control of all of this!’

He was raising his voice now, yet Natasha saw the frustration, anguish and fatigue flickering in his eyes. Whatever the witch has showed them had pained him, though not to the extent that his observative eyes missed any crucial details. 

‘I…’

She knew not what to say to comfort him, or what role to take on that would lighten the weight on his shoulders. After the events of SHIELD’s falling apart, she had left him after feeling too close to him. She knew well enough that she could not afford any liability in her line of work. Nor, she was bitterly reminded of by the witch, did she deserve anything he might want to offer her past professionalism. Though he had been surprisingly subtle about it, she has noticed the staring, or the happiness in his eyes, in his gait, when he saw her. They had fallen in an easy, playful banter before she left, but with SHIELD going down they had developed a mutual trust, respect and whatever else there was to it. During their war against HYDRA, she had thought her constant concern and attention for Steve were professional ones. But after Fury went underground the feelings remained, and increased even, much to her horror. 

‘You what, Nat?’

His words came out exhausted, and for the first time in a long time did she allow herself to really look at him, as she shut down the water and dried her hands. His eyes had sunk in, his beard has grown and the crease between his eyebrows seemed to have cemented its place. He had called her Nat, which she knew meant that the conversation would have to take a more serious tone. His detoriated state made her feel more things she did not desire to feel, but she knew he needed answers in order to fix himself up enough to perform normalcy again.

‘She is an old SHIELD agent. One of the few trustworthy ones we have left. I can’t divulge any personal details, but you can trust her. We can trust her.’

‘And the kids? Don’t tell me they start this young.’

She gave him a long, earnest look, before answering:

‘I did. But they are actors. Thinking they are auditioning for a new Disney show or something. They think we too are look-a-likes of the real Avengers.’

She said so chuckling, but Steve wasn’t having it.

‘So this is what you guys do? Illusion after illusion, deception after deception.’

His words came out hard, and unexpectedly got to her. 

‘Fury…he felt that you guys needed a sense of normalcy to reboot and beat Ultron.’

‘And yet you knew.’

 

‘I caught on soon enough.’

‘And what do you mean with you guys?! Are you not one of us? Is Barton not an avenger?’

She chose her words carefully as she answered, while leading him to the garden where no one would overhear them.

‘We are…but it was never about us.’

He raised his eyebrows as they sat down at the swings, which seemed to have become the go-to place for real conversations for her.

‘You see, the Avengers is not about the actual skilled people saving the world. Not necessarily anyway. It is about an idea, about obvious heroes giving people all around the world hope that they will be saved from all the larger-than-life stuff that comes our way. It is about people having faith and trust in their futures. Only then will we be able to actually do stuff.’

He took in her words, softly swinging back and forth. She took after him, allowing herself to let the air caress her as she swayed through it.

‘Who is we? What is there that I need to know about the group as it is?’

She slowed down in order to look him in the eye again.

‘We all want the same, to save people from what they cannot save themselves of. But at the end of the day, we cannot have the Avengers commit the gruesome things in order to establish that. We need public heroes, and we need shadows. Clint and I try to be both.’

‘And that is all there is to it?’

‘Yes.’

‘I don’t want to get lied to Natasha. Especially not by you.’

Natasha looked down as she had a feeling where the conversation might be heading. The much practiced public relations speech she had just given was easy to convey. But to actually talk about herself…

‘I suppose you know what I wanted to ask you?’  
‘Ask me.’

Though he was dying to ask about Banner, he refrained from doing so. Instead, he asked the question he had wanted to from the very moment she left him.

‘Why did you leave? After SHIELD…went down, HYDRA got exposed. Why didn’t you stay? You knew we were a good team, you and me. You, me and Sam too. Did you have a mission? If so, why not tell me? I thought we..’  
He stopped, afraid to speak too much all at once. They were now looking each other straight in the eye, having opened the lids of their respective Pandora boxes.

‘I couldn’t stay, Steve. And I know you know why.’

‘Enlighten me.’

‘You want to hear things I can’t speak of, Rogers.’

Steve averted his eyes, which hardened again, as did his voice.

‘Because of Banner?’

Natasha blinked, feeling stupid about forgetting about Banner. Feeling emotionally suffocated, she suddenly needed to end the conversation.

‘I can’t speak of more now, Steve. Don’t force me to lie to you.’

They looked intently at each other again.

‘Are you my friend, Nat?’

At least, he swallowed in, watching her with hopeful eyes. Natasha knew what he was asking, felt instinctively the layers of the seemingly simple question he was posing. She thought it over, considered if Steve was worth the title only Clint had really obtained until now. One look at the sincerity in his face was enough to let the word slip her tongue, though.

‘Yes.’

At the very least, she too added mentally. The shared a smile, small, intimate but sincere. Had the topic not been this serious, both would have cracked a joke. At the simultaneous realization of this fact, the smile of both widened a tiny bit more. If anything, they could be friends. They would be friends, Steve realization, even without this official confirmation. She understood him in his silences and speeches, as he liked to think he understood her. They might not know everything about each other, but there was a mutual understanding, a mutual loyalty to each other’s welfare. 

Both knew they wanted to end the deep conversation, but neither could think of anything to do so. So instead, they remained in silence, looking at the heaven, their feet, and whatever else but each other. Deciding he had seen everything enough times to make a drawing by heart, Steve took up the swinging again. The back and forth movement made Natasha look at him again, taking in the carelessness Steve allowed himself in this small moment with a spark of glee in her heart. A friendly spark, she told herself, as she too started to pick up pace. As she caught up speed, he made an exaggerated move to indicate that he was going to beat their current speed, ilicitating a laugh out of her. Upon hearing that he smiled widely, as the two friends made a competition of the swinging. Sure, Ultron was out there, as were the ghosts of their respective pasts, but in this spark of moment, they allowed themselves to be the people who they wanted to be, carefree, happy and though they may not want to admit it yet: together.

**Author's Note:**

> If people like the series, Bruce is the next part! Followed by Tony, then Thor. And then the Laura revelation! Also, if wanted, I would write some part-of-the-series-slash-stand-alone stories of small moments i refer to in these stories, like Nat and both Hawkeyes or BruceNat as is referred to in the next part.


End file.
